signs that you’ve moved on (an excerpt)

You Delete The Texts
That text thread that’s been sitting in your phone since the fall out. Haunting you. Tormenting you. But you can’t get rid of it. That means it’s really over. All evidence is gone. So you let it sit there. Just in case. In case you have a bad night and want to torture yourself by going through the messages. Because you still can’t understand why. Because you want something to hold on to. But then something wonderful happens. You realize it’s been weeks since you looked at anything he had to say. Then it’s months. Then you delete the entire thread as if it never happened. And the best part is that it didn’t really even bother you.

You “Defriend” Them
We all know that “defriending” is a big deal in the world of social media. Unfollow. Whatever you want to call it. Some break ups are dramatic. Some are subtle. For those of us that don’t “defriend” immediately (assuming you were friends with this significant other in the first place), you sort of just let that person hang there in social media limbo. Maybe you block them from your feed. Maybe you stalk them. Maybe you do nothing. But you can’t delete them. No. You hold on. Then one day that person no longer is your friend. Maybe they defriended you. Maybe you defriended them. But guess what? You magically don’t care anymore.

Sex With Other People Isn’t So Scary
After a break up, it goes one of two ways. You’re either fucking everything in sight or closing those legs up for business. Sex with other people is awkward after you’ve been in a relationship. You’re out of the single, casual hook-up loop. It takes a while to establish good sex habits with one person to begin with, and now you’re starting back at square one. That single world where you have to meet new people and relive all the insecurities that come with fresh hook ups. But before you know it, you’re drunk on tequila banging the sexy stud on your parents couch. And you don’t really feel bad about it. And then it happens again. And again. And you realize you don’t give a shit about your ex. Because let’s face it, sex with no strings attached is pretty awesome.

Songs Don’t Kill You Anymore
We all know that every song on the planet reminds you of your relationship once it’s over. And then there’s those specific songs that just literally eat at your insides like a flesh eating virus. Because he sang that song to you ever so sweetly before he said he loved you. Because there were stars out. Because you loved him too. And there’s probably a song or two you may never be able to fully listen to again, but after time, you slowly find yourself listening again. And stop equating every love song to your heartbreak. Things you once thought you’d never be able to enjoy again start coming back.

You’re Open to Love
They say that time heals everything. And even though it’s completely cliche, it’s 100% true. Breakups are never easy, and we all feel like we’ll never get through it. We all go through the same phases. Whether it takes you a month or a year, it doesn’t really matter. We all feel the same pain. But after the winter, when the sun starts to shine again, you feel hope. You feel possibility. And soon, you’ll feel love. Love for yourself, love for life. And maybe, someday down the road, love for someone else.

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