Friday, February 22, 2013 by Jessica Booth
Ever heard of the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?” Yeah, it’s a little vulgar, but it’s also a common way people attempt to get over a breakup – by hooking up with someone else. And sometimes they take it even a little further and find themselves in a rebound relationship.
What is a rebound? To put it simply, it’s basically a distraction to keep a guy or girl from thinking about their recent breakup. If a guy goes into a rebound relationship, he’s looking for a quick way to get over his ex by being with someone else. But what he’s really doing his projecting his feelings about his ex onto a new girl – in a sense, he’s using the new girl.
People who go into rebound relationships don’t go into them with the intention of using someone or hurting someone else. They usually think they’re helping themselves… that’s what makes rebounds so tricky. Have you ever felt like your new BF maybe isn’t over his ex? Do you think you could be a rebound? If you’re suddenly freaking out, here are 7 signs to look out for:
He’s Newly Single
Did your new BF literally just go through a breakup? By that I mean did it happen in the last month or so? If so, that’s probably the biggest warning sign of a rebound relationship, especially if he was in a long-term relationship right before he met you. While it’s totally possible to meet a new sweetie you genuinely like, most people who go through a tough breakup need a good amount of time to themselves to get over their ex before they can move onto someone new. Even if he insists he’s over her, if their relationship only ended a few weeks ago, he’s probably not.
He Talks About His Ex… A Lot
It’s fine to bring up your ex every once in a while (and by that I mean not a lot at all), but if your BF brings up his ex constantly, that’s not a good sign. If he’s talking about her, that means he’s thinking about her… and if he were completely over her, he probably wouldn’t be thinking about her so much. Be especially wary if he spends a lot of time comparing the two of you. Not only is that a sign of a rebound, but it’s also not cool and unfair.
He Still Seems Very Bitter
It’s totally normal to have some not-so-great feelings about an ex, especially if it was a messy breakup. But if your guy is constantly bashing his ex, gets really bummed out when he hears things about her or seems really bitter about the end of their relationship, that’s not good. If he were totally over her, he wouldn’t still be so passionate about her, even if what he’s saying is bad. It’s a sign that there are still strong feelings there.
He’s All About Hooking Up
When someone goes into a rebound relationship, they’re looking for the sort of connection they used to have with their ex – they want to feel close and intimate to someone, anyone. If your new BF is all about intense hookup sessions and then can seem a little weird afterwards, watch out. Keep in mind you should take this one with a grain of salt. Just because your guy wants to hook up all the time, that doesn’t automatically make you a rebound. Pay attention to his responses, because that’s how you’ll know if something else is going on.
His Facebook Statuses Are Still Sad
Don’t ignore sad, miserable statuses full of depressing song lyrics. If a guy is showing some serious emotion on Facebook, that means there’s something going on that he may not be telling you. One or two may not be a big deal, but if his Facebook is painful to look at because it makes others so uncomfortable, he’s definitely not over his ex. It’s easy to ignore these kinds of signs when you really like someone, but please don’t brush it off as just his favorite music or something like that.
He Can Be Super Intense…
Someone who is in a rebound usually goes from hot to cold pretty quickly. If your new BF has moments where he’s super intense, be on the lookout. That could be a sign that he’s projecting his feelings for his ex onto you. This sign is really easy to overlook, because of course you want to assume he really does feel that way for you. But if it’s too much too soon, it might not be good.
…But Also Super Distant
This is where your dude goes from hot to cold. If he get’s panicky and nervous when you bring up the future, be careful. If he seems weird about giving your relationship a title, he may be hoping his ex will still come back to him. Commitmentphobes could just be rebound relationships in disguise.