being the other woman

Being the other woman – you know it’s wrong, you know your world will be shattered, but you do it anyway. You convince yourself that since you are not the one cheating, it’s okay. You convince yourself that all the “I love you’s” and all the open-ended promises actually mean something. It’s a fairytale; a world that you’ve created and are so wrapped up in that it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not.

Even though you knew everything was wrong and that one day you would lose everything, you went ahead and decided to be the other woman. you weren’t blind butnaïve. you had dated for a year already and after he two-timed me, you should have given up. But you were weak; and he had your emotions and your heart wrapped around his finger. He begged you to hold on, to stay put for months on end. you did because nothing else felt right. He was your new home. Everything about your world mingled with his and you was never strong enough to walk away. and I let myself be treated as if I was worthless.

For those people who think it’s easy being the other woman, I am here to tell you it’s not. For those who think I’m a bad person, because i did it myself once, trust me I know what I did was wrong. Being the other woman hurts you as much as it does anyone else. I was the other woman for quite some time too – months of my life that I actively let someone else dictate; that I let someone else take away from me.

i felt worthless. I questioned why you were never enough, you beg for answers and you try to clear your conscience. i try to understand how something could feel so real and so amazing. How i could let someone trick me into feeling loved. my mind races because i will always be the other girl and never worth the real deal.

What I am here to tell you is that picking yourself back up is nearly impossible. our conscience will never be cleared and the questions we ask will never be answered. we’ll never get the time of day you deserve and we’ll continue to feel like we’re not worth it. Everyone tells us time heals everything. Time makes it worse – time makes us think and makes our mind race. Acceptance is the healing power. we accept that we knew what we were getting into when we started this, we accept that we will never get answers and we accept that we were not worth it to him. Then—then after all of that—we accept that we have to tell the next man you are with that you were the other woman—that you lied, cheated and covered up the truth. Tears will stream down our face but after we accept the truths, we pick ourselves up and realize that for someone out there, we will be worth three things: love, truth and a committed relationship

 

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