2015 yearender.


guilt has never left me. when i learnt that you two broke up because of me. every day, i keep on telling you “go back to her and fix things with her”. you said you already have made your choice and therevs nothing left to fix. after a few weeks.. just a few days ago. december 25. what a lovely gift from a ‘concerned officemate’.  a picture of you two together. i asked you to leave me alone. you cried and asked me not to leave you. coz you were just ‘pretending’ to be ok for your relatives. i’ve had enough.
the next day, i got a message from her. asking me for the truth.
and yes she was right. how can you cheat on me with her, when in the first place.. i was the side chick.
you could’ve just been true. to you. to me. to her.

“let me fix things first.. do some soul and self-searching. and if no one will ever accept me again, if i have nothing left in me.. please don’t close your doors on me. i want you to be there.. ”

that’s bullshit! i’m not that stupid.
thank you. for everything.
and i wish i’ll never get to see you again.