This is the song I used to sing whenever I’m taking a shower.. it only stopped when I met him. and I don’t know why. After we broke up.. and learning about the reason why we broke up.. I just don’t know but it seems like.. this could be his song when we were still together..
How can I tell her about you (Lobo)
She knows when I’m lonesome, she cried when I’m sad She’s up in the good times, she’s down in the bad Whenever I’m discouraged, she knows just what to do But girl, she doesn’t know about you
I can tell her my troubles, she makes them all seem right I can make up excuses not to hold her at night We can talk of tomorrow, I’ll tell her things that I want to do But girl, how can I tell her about you?
How can I tell her about you? Girl, please tell me what to do Everything seems right whenever I’m with you So girl, won’t you tell me how to tell her about you?
How can I tell her I don’t miss her whenever I’m away How can I say it’s you and I think of every single night and day But when is it easy telling someone we’re through Ah girl, help me tell her about you
Somebody told me you were leavin’ I didn’t know Somebody told me you’re unhappy But it doesn’t show Somebody told me that you don’t want me no more So you’re walkin’ out the door Nobody told me you’ve been cryin’ Every night Nobody told me you’d been dyin’ But didn’t want to fight Nobody told me that you fell out of love from me So I’m settin’ you free
[Ref:] Let me be the one to break it up So you won’t have to make excuses We don’t need to find a set up where Someone wins and someone loses We just have to say our love was true But has now become a lie So I’m tellin’ you I love you one last time And goodbye Somebody told me you still loved me Don’t know why Nobody told me that you only Needed time to fly Somebody told me that you want to come back when Our love is real again [ref then bridge]
[Bridge:] Just turn around and walk away You don’t have to live like this But if you love me still then stay Don’t keep me waiting for that final kiss We can work together through this test Or we can work through it apart I just need to get this off my chest That you will always have my heart
I can honestly say You’ve been on my mind Since I woke up today I look at your photograph all the time These memories come back to life And I don’t mind
I remember when we kissed I still feel it on my lips The time that you danced with me With no music playing I remember the simple things I remember till I cry But the one thing I wish I’d forget The memory I wanna forget Is goodbye
I woke up this morning And played our song And through my tears I sang along I picked up the phone and then Put it down ’cause I know I’m wasting my time And I don’t mind
I remember when we kissed I still feel it on my lips The time that you danced with me With no music playing I remember the simple things I remember till I cry But the one thing I wish I’d forget The memory I wanna forget
Suddenly my cell phone’s blowing up With your ring tone I hesitate but answer it anyway You sound so alone And I’m surprised to hear you say
You remember when we kissed You still feel it on your lips The time that you danced with me With no music playing You remember the simple things We talk till we cry You said that your biggest regret The one thing you wish I’d forget Is saying goodbye
When I met my kid’s father, i don’t have a social life. He would always tell me I wouldn’t get anything from going online checking my Friendster account. I stopped taking and sharing pictures, I stopped writing entries for my blogs. All the things I love doing were literally taken away from me. Of course, just to avoid confrontations ending with me bruised and all, I just let him control me. he even asked me to stop seeing my friends, even talking or texting them.
When I was with jolo, it’s somewhat different. He never asked me to do all those. I did it on my own ‘free will’. Corny as it may seem, but it’s true. Maybe because I just wanted to focus on just him and my son. As what he always say, “si mama ang priority ko.. tulad mo, si gabu ang priority mo. Tayong dalawa.. second lang sa lists natin pareho..”
And that’s where I think I made a mistake. I lost contacts with my friends. it was always me and him. Me, him and his friends. me, him and my family or his family.. me, my son and him. i would only see my friends ‘accidentally’ like once in 2010 when we saw keith, marvin and hazel in a coffee shop, and twice in 2012: when we saw keith and marvin in the mall when we’re about to go home.. keith and marvin in a restaurant when we’re supposed to eat.. then I got to see the rest of my college friends last December 2013 for the gown fitting for ate jo’s wedding that same month.
When jolo broke up with me, I have no one to confide to. I was broken.. it was like everything was shattered. Everything was gone. I know I still have my mom and my family, but I can’t let them know. I can’t tell them jolo broke up with me and I was devastated. I can’t tell them that jolo cheated on me and that they’ve been together for quite sometime now. So when I saw my homepage in his phone, I knew he was checking on my facebook account. So I’ve posted statuses about him and what he did. Just so he knew how deeply hurt I am. So that he knows how I deal with the pain he caused me.
My friends from work commented on my posts. I know they meant well. But I know they can’t understand what I’m going through then. I know they wouldn’t understand because they don’t know me that well. but i really appreciate the effort and the understanding and all those kind soothing words to ease the pain.
When keith and ate jo sent me a message, I wanted to cry. They were like my best best friends ever. I wanted to cry since we lost communication for quite a while and here they are now, telling me consoling words at my lowest point in life.
The last time I saw jolo, on our way to glorietta he told me “bakit nga ba kita ihahatid eh mas gusto mo naman kasama mga kaibigan mo kesa sakin..” I wanted to shout at him and tell him alam naman nya yung reason why I have to choose keith over him. kasi keith was there and was the one who helped me get through was jolo has done. Keith was there and never left me.. something I thought jolo would do. Akala ko kasi si jolo yung hindi ako iiwan. Akala he’d be the one who’ll catch me everytime.
You were everything I wanted But I just can’t finish what I’ve started There’s no room left here on my back It was damaged long ago Though you swear that you are true I still pick my friends over you
You by the light is the greatest find In a world full of wrong you’re the thing that’s right Finally made it through the lonely to the other side
You set it again, my heart’s in motion Every word feels like a shooting star I’m at the edge of my emotions Watching the shadows burning in the dark, And I’m in love and I’m terrified. For the first time and the last time In my only life.
And this could be good, it’s already better than that And nothing’s worse than knowing you’re holding back I could be all that you’re needing if you let me try
You set it again, my heart’s in motion Every word feels like a shooting star I’m at the edge of my emotions Watching the shadows burning in the dark And I’m in love and I’m terrified For the first time and the last time In my only
I only said it ’cause I mean it I only mean it ’cause it’s true So don’t you doubt what I’ve been dreaming ‘Cause it fills me up and holds me close Whenever I’m without you
You set it again, my heart’s in motion Every word feels like a shooting star Watching the shadows burning in the dark And I’m in love and I’m terrified For the first time and the last time In my only life, life, life In my only life
We take a chance from time to time And put our necks out on the line And you have broken every promise that we made And I have loved you anyway
Took a fine time to leave me hangin’ out to dry Understand now I’m greivin’ So don’t you waste my time Cause you have taken All the wind out from my sails And I have loved you just the same
We finally find this then you’re gone Been chasin’ rainbows all along And you have cursed me When there’s no one left to blame And I have loved you just the same And you have broken every single fucking rule And I have loved you like a fool
maybe You don’t have to smile so sad Laugh when you’re feeling bad I promise I won’t
Chase you You don’t have to dance so blue You don’t have to say I do When baby you don’t
Just tell me The one thing you never told me Then let go of me Hell just throw me
Maybe if you wanna go home Tell me if I’m back on my own Giving back a heart that’s on loan Just tell me if you wanna go home
Oh maybe You don’t have to kill so kind Pretend to ease my mind When baby you won’t
Oh sugar You don’t have to be so sweet I know who you’re going to meet Don’t say that I don’t
So maybe I won’t let your memory haunt me I’ll be sleepwalking With the lonely
If you’re taking me home Tell me if I’m back on my own Giving back a heart that’s on loan Just tell me if you wanna go home Tell me if you wanna go home
Cause I’m just not sure Tell me if I’m back on my own How to get back there Giving back a heart that’s on loan And I just can’t bear Tell me if you wanna go home
If you’re not there Ooh ooh ooh ooh Baby
If you’re taking me home Tell me if I’m back on my own Giving back a heart that’s on loan Tell me if you wanna go Wanna go, wanna go, wanna go, wanna
Cause I’m just not sure How to get back there And I just can’t bear If you’re not there
Tell me if you wanna go home Cause I’m just not sure Tell me if I’m back on my own How to get back there Giving back a heart that’s on loan And I just can’t bear Just tell me if you wanna go home Wanna go, wanna go, wanna go, wanna Wanna go, wanna Wanna go, wanna
just my dreams as a guide, i set off is search of sandy gardens. set under Mr. Sun's glow. no maps, no plans, here i go. This is me!