Category Archives: goodbye
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how do you comfort someone who lost his partner if you yourself haven’t experienced such loss? it’s not that i want to experience it first-hand. who would want that. but it’s so awkward when everyone else said their sympathies and you’ll be left with just holding their hand for strength.. hope that helps at least. i just can’t find the right words to say. sorry.. but i feel you. i understand. and i really am sorry for your loss
You May Have Been Hurt And Find It Difficult To Trust But You Will Find Someone Worthy Of It
http://elitedaily.com/dating/every-girl-finds-difficult-trust/689831/
He must have hurt you really badly. I can imagine that things were incredibly painful, as you now fear the world and are blinded to love when it presents itself in its purest form. Maybe it was a guy or two who caused it or it was growing up amidst a troubling family affair.
Whatever reason you have for feeling unable to trust, know that it’s valid and perfectly reasonable.
Heartache can leave a traumatizing mark that’s difficult to forget and can feel nearly impossible to overcome. When you find yourself in a situation that is the slightest bit familiar to how the hurtful past unraveled, it can feel nerve-racking and emotionally chaotic.
That identifiable jolt of surprise you feel when you glance over at his phone or that anger you feel when you ask a question or two brings you back to that moment when you first realized that no man can or should ever be trusted.
Despite how he rationalizes his actions, you have already expected an outcome that justifies your suspicion and negates anything that could disprove your theory.
The situation isn’t what you thought it to be. Your mind drags on, clinging to the idea that you’re bound to get hurt, that he’s doing something behind your back, that you’re replaceable and that there’s someone else.
Well, to every girl who finds it difficult to trust, give your partner the chance to be different.
It’s not a simple task and it definitely won’t be easy, but you must take it upon yourself to trust that your present situation won’t work out the same way as things did before.
When everything brings you fear, learn to live in fear. Distrust becomes your comfort zone and infidelity your truth. Watch out for possible signs to tell yourself that you’re right about this one — that you’re right not to trust him. Wait for him to make a mistake before you have any reason to stay in the comforts of doubt.
People will tell you that it’s not fair to pass the mistakes of another guy onto him. They’ll say that it’s not fair for him to be surrounded by doubt when he’s given nothing short of his best to make you feel loved and secure.
This advice is all true, but the most unjust thing you could do is let yourself suffer again for the mistakes of the man who broke your heart.
A relationship without trust is like an ice cream sundae without a cherry on top… it doesn’t feel complete. It can’t blossom into a beautiful connection if you believe he’s screwing up what both of you have.
When you completely trust the person you’re with, the foundation of the relationship will get stronger.
You’ll feel confident that when faced with a compromising situation, he won’t do anything to jeopardize the sanctity of what you value the most. He’ll appreciate you for believing the good in him.
When you stop fearing the what-ifs of tomorrow and focus on the good things that come today, you’ll realize that the worries that you’ve focused on for so long are ghosts you’ve created that have hindered you from experiencing true happiness.
Trusting someone is a choice you have to make for yourself.
When you trust him, he’ll prove to you that he’s worthy of it. His actions will show you that there was nothing to fear.
But, if in the end he disappoints you and hurts you, just move forward and continue to go through life with optimism about what genuine love and trust can bring. Because trust me, it’s beautiful.
Once A Lover, Now A Stranger: Why Love Is The Risk We Should All Be Taking
http://elitedaily.com/dating/lover-now-stranger/698610/
I’ve always found the concept of breaking up with someone to be both unsettling and sad. Whenever I hear of a friend or family member’s relationship coming to an end, I feel somewhat disappointed that another love failed yet again.
Coming from a family where my parents met and fell in love at 15 years old, I grew up believing in the whole “fairy-tale” ending phenomenon. I just didn’t understand how if two people loved each other so much, they could even fathom ending things.
I think this is part of the reason I struggled so much in ending my first long-term relationship. He was more than just a lover; I grew up with him. I had so many firsts with this person, and I went through many hard times with him by my side.
We started dating at 15, the same age as my parents. He was my best friend for four years and I couldn’t imagine life without him, or how I was even happy before we came together.
Before I knew it, everything changed. He made consistent mistakes when it came to our relationship that hurt me over and over again. I started to feel myself not just falling out of love with him, but also craving something new and more fulfilling.
At the same time, the thought of not having him in my life felt both sad and unfamiliar. It also felt unfair: Why did I have to lose him as both my boyfriend and my best friend at the same time? I wished it didn’t have to be that way. I wished the aching hole in my heart would just close up and heal.
It’s amazing to think how quickly people can come in and out of your life; people who used to mean everything can turn into nothing. How are we forced to forget people who once meant the world to us?
When our lives center around someone we love, it doesn’t just stop the minute you break up. When you’re passing by his favorite restaurant or the place in the park where she first told you she loved you; when you realize it’s his birthday or hear her favorite song on the radio, the memories will always linger.
However, these are memories you are forced to forget because you know, and everyone else knows, that you deserve better.
I believe that if you truly love someone, you will always harbor love for that person. It may be a different love than it was when you were together, but something will always be there. Maybe it’s simply just an ache that creeps across your body upon hearing his name.
We will never completely forget about a failed love, but that does not mean you won’t be happy again — you will.
Either way, this concept is inevitable. It’s the human condition to crave love and relationships. Every now and then we meet someone who may end up becoming a big part of our lives, and with this, we run the risk of ending up as strangers.
However, I think it will always be a risk worth taking. With every failed relationship comes a new lesson. They help us learn more about what we like, don’t like and what we are willing to accept.
They help us recognize the pain a broken heart can bring and the growth involved in healing it. They also teach us to appreciate how beautiful and vulnerable love can be, and hopefully, eventually, help us find that person who will make all that pain and uncertainty worth it.
We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together: 6 Reasons You Should Be Over Your Ex
http://elitedaily.com/dating/never-ever-getting-back-together-youre-better-alone/723198/
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Relationships aren’t easy. As a very wise musician, Neil Sedaka, once sang, “Breaking up is hard to do.”
The decision to end a relationship may be easy for some, but for others, it’s a decision that takes a lot of time, internal mulling and external venting.
Once you make your decision, you may be immediately feeling regretful; after all, you spent a lot of time with this person.
He or she was your significant other; you were intimate and comfortable with this person. All of those things are not easily forgotten or left in the past.
In the end, however, you broke up for a reason. While you may be entertaining the idea of drunk texting this person at 2 am on a Saturday night and revealing how much you miss him or her, just don’t.
Here’s why:
1. It Ended For A Reason
You didn’t just break up with him or her out of the blue; there had to have been reasons. Nine times out of ten, the underlying problem didn’t disappear overnight.
Unless your ex has completely done a 360, don’t step backwards. Your relationship failed; don’t forget that reason when you’ve had a little too much to drink and you’re feeling lonely.
2. After The Honeymoon Phase Wears Off…
While you may have remembered all the good times you shared, replaying cute conversations in your head simply creates a façade that everything was perfect.
If that were the case, you would most likely still be together. If you did get back together, it would be great during that “honeymoon phase,” but after that, the original issues will resurface, leaving you confused and heartbroken… for a second time.
3. You Don’t Think You Can Do Better
You can and you will; it’s as simple as that. There are so many fish in the sea — it’s the oldest cliché in the book — and, yes, I’m throwing it at you because it’s true!
Once you’ve had enough time to get over your ex, explore your options. Let a friend set you up on a blind date, start swiping right on Tinder or just get someone’s phone number at the bar.
There isn’t just one person out there for all of us. There is the right person, at the right place and at the right time. Love is a tricky little thing.
4. If It Were Meant To Be, It Wouldn’t Be So Hard
One of my friends said this to me during one of many venting sessions, and it stuck with me. You shouldn’t have to work as hard in your relationship as you do at your full-time job.
I’m not telling you there won’t be bumps in the road, but overall, you should be happier more times than sad in your relationship. If you were feeling the latter, especially towards the end of your relationship, it won’t be better the second time around.
5. You Were Comfortable
Your significant other knew everything about you: your most ticklish spot, your favorite meal and exactly what you needed when you were hungover on a Sunday morning.
You may think you’ll never feel that comfortable with another person, but I promise you, it will happen. Most of us take time to open up to others, especially in our generation, where everyone is so quick to move on to the next best thing.
When the right person comes along, you’ll want him or her to know all of those things and more. In the beginning of a new relationship, you probably won’t be sharing your deepest secrets, be able to finish each other’s sentences or know exactly what your partner is thinking by just looking at his or her facial expression.
Eventually, you will get there with someone new.
6. The “L” Word
You loved your significant other. I get it; I’ve been there, too. However, if you’ve learned anything from reading articles like these, you know with each new relationship, you learn more about yourself and how you love in particular.
Falling in love isn’t just about the person; it’s about the timing. Timing is everything, just ask Ted Mosby. When you fall into that forever kind of love, you’ll know it.
I am a firm believer in the mantra, “Everything happens for a reason.” You learned from the pain, so don’t subject yourself to it a second time around. Leave the past in the past, and move forward. There are far better things ahead than anything we leave behind.
To The Girl Who Replaced Me, Please Take Care Of Him
http://elitedaily.com/dating/letter-girl-replaced/707040/
Dear Replacement,
There are a few things I think you should know, as you are now the object of his affection.
Don’t let it surprise you, how quickly you fall for him, and don’t be apprehensive in letting yourself fall. He’ll be there to catch you. Don’t let my Facebook page intimidate you. There were a lot of pictures of us, and while I hate to admit it, the pictures are a thing of the past.
He’s taken down most of them by now. He may not talk about me to you; he didn’t talk to his friends about it when it ended, so I don’t know if they will know either. It was a beautiful, one-sided love story of the past, but you are his future now.
We don’t know each other, and I am sure you already don’t like me. I resented you slightly when I first found out, but we do have something very wonderful in common, and it connects us whether we like to admit it or not.
I won’t text him or like his posts on social media. I can’t tell you every secret because it took me time to figure that out myself. But just trust that there are reasons he doesn’t say what you want him to, and there are reasons he doesn’t do what you want.
He will spoil you from time to time, but he is wise with his expenses; he spends money only when he needs to. You are going notice how he gets excited like a child when it comes to certain things and learn to hear giggle in his laugh.
You’ll find out his favorite movie and he’ll make you sit through it; I know I couldn’t without falling asleep. You’ll notice how he loves watching movies and how he might do it more than going out.
You will see him out drunk and he’ll get mad sometimes. He has a temper, as I’m sure you have noticed, so don’t take it personally. When he storms off, let him go and trust he’ll always come back with a smile and his bright blue eyes that make you look away.
When he falls in love with you, let it not scare you when he cries because that’s the one thing that triggers those emotions in him. When he falls in love with you, you’ll notice you sleep better at night, and when it rains, his touch simply will vanish every fear.
When that happens, you’ll almost look forward to simple things, such as walks because he’ll reach for your hand and you’ll blush because no glove has ever fit it so well.
He’ll do whatever you ask of him and you’ll rarely fight. He doesn’t like advertising things like relationships and feelings, so don’t expect that of him, just know he does love you. He may not think of you at every moment, but you’ll cross his mind often enough.
He has bigger dreams than he is confident enough to believe in, so it’s your job to tell him every day how handsome he is and how smart he is and that he is capable of it all. He won’t believe you, but don’t stop saying it.
He’ll make you see the world in a new light, and you’ll start questioning things you never knew. He can’t cook, so don’t expect him to. You’ll find yourself laughing at his little catchphrases, and if you do something he doesn’t like, one eyebrow will raise and he’ll look at you without blinking.
When you two are out, he’ll watch you the whole time and it’ll seem like you are the only one in the room. When you dance, it’ll seem perfect. Let none of this scare you and love him the way he deserves. He’ll tell you about the past and his mistakes, so it’s your job to take his hand and let him know you’re not judging him.
He is a better person because of all of that, and he’s found you because of failed relationships in the past. I hope you love him the way he deserves and I hope he loves you as deeply as I thought he did me. I hope he’s honest with you in a way he never was with me, but most of all, I hope he gives you the fairytale I thought would once be my life.
Also: Remember that I don’t dislike you, but if I’m being honest, I am jealous of you. I have found acceptance, but I’m also happy someone else gets a chance to experience what I did.
I hope one day I can properly meet you. Like I said before, we have a connection that no one else can say they have and I’m sure you are a wonderful person. He looks at who a girl is first before falling in love with her appearance. It’s a rare quality in a man.
I only ask one thing of you: Don’t hurt him the way he hurt me. I believe in karma and I believe people get what they send out to the world, but I never wish that pain upon anyone, especially him. You are dating the man of our dreams and I truly mean it when I say I hope it all works out for you.
Sincerely, The Other Girl
A Letter To The Man Who Broke My Heart: I Came Out On Top
http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/letter-to-man-who-destroyed-my-heart/729122/
I’ve had two magnificent loves in my life.
I felt as if love was the very liquid flowing through my veins: heart-racing, endless-butterflies, flushed-face, cheeks-hurt-from-smiling-so-much, couldn’t-wait-to-spend-every-waking-moment-with-him type sh*t.
You can probably guess where this is going. Neither one worked out, but the second one left me guessing whether I could ever recover from all the hurt and anguish he put me through. Most importantly, could I ever trust another man with my heart, body, mind and soul?
Even I felt as though I had to tiptoe around the shambles of my own heart; I was left to put everything back together. Before I could move forward with my life, I knew the first steps to moving on would be to forgive.
I’ve never said this openly to you, but now it’s time. To the man I thought you were:
You met me at such a vulnerable and fragile stage of my life, and you took full advantage of that. Just shy of 21, I thought I had found the love of my life.
You were everything I had always dreamed of and everything I thought I wanted. You were five years older than me, established, smart, handsome, funny, witty, skilled, so talented at your job and you could make me weak at the knees.
I’ll hand it to you; your facade was that of one who had clearly done this before. You had me in your hands like putty. Little did I know you would try to mold me into everything you needed me to be.
How naive I was to believe that someone like you could actually love me, wholeheartedly. It’s my own fault, and now on the verge of 26, I can take responsibility for what I failed to notice.
I guess you could say I did notice, just didn’t care to pay attention to all the red flags. You always wanted me to be something more, something your parents would approve of. Someone who resembled more of what your stature represented, almost like a social class.
I guess I should have listened to you when you said your mom wouldn’t approve of my tattoos, the very art I had engraved into my skin before I ever knew that you existed. Or maybe the times you told me to not do my hair a certain way because you didn’t like it.
How about the times you always gave me sh*t for dressing up nice, always assuming I was trying to impress someone? Did you ever think I was trying to look nice for you?
With all the guilt you carried around, I MUST be up to no good. All the simple things I enjoyed, you hated. I always wondered why I stayed with someone who so clearly didn’t like anything about me.
Then it clicked: I was convenient. I was an easy back up. Just tell her what she wants to hear, give her a little bit of hope, give her a little bit of rope and just real her back in when you need her.
Goddamn you, asshole, for making me feel so inadequate. I always made an excuse for your behavior. That is nobody’s fault but my own, but it is time you take responsibility for YOUR actions.
After all, if you had been the good boyfriend you claimed to be, I wouldn’t have had to make an excuses for your twisted, sick, and f*cked up choices.
Of course, you were always so talented at turning everything around and making me the bad guy. “I told you I didn’t want to be in a relationship … it’s not my fault if you get hurt. We aren’t together.” Oh we aren’t? I’m sorry, I must have you confused with the guy who has me over every night and day.
I come home, cook, clean, take care of the house and dog, do your laundry, fall asleep and wake up next to you every day. I’d catch you in a lie, or online dating sites, or going on dates on Valentine’s Day, or how about that late dinner on NYE that wasn’t with me?
Yet, if I dare talked to anyone, showed interest in anyone, I was the piece of sh*t. Wait a second … didn’t you say we weren’t together? I should be free to talk to whomever I want, right?
Do you even have any idea what I told these people who tried to date me? That I was still in love with someone, and I wanted to see it through the end until he clearly looked me in the eye and I knew it was over for good.
What hurt the most is when I would build up all this courage to finally say that I was done with feeling this way. That you no longer were going to have so much control over me, and that I no longer wanted to be with someone who couldn’t treat me the way I deserved.
Here you come with a sad face, making your eyes well up, telling me you don’t know why you continue to hurt the one person who has loved you for the last three years. You got me … back to square one. He’ll change, things will be different, I know he loves me. He almost cried…
So here we are. I have forgiven you, and have forgiven myself, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t get angry for all the times you made me feel so worthless.
While you never directly said it, I always knew it was implied. It’s my fault for sticking around, and it’s my fault for not listening to everything you were saying. Nobody ever said I was perfect, and lord knows I am flawed to the bone. My weakness isn’t really a weakness, it’s more of a strength. I love with all my heart, through thick and thin.
I give it all I got, and I was not the one who quit. No matter what you did, I still loved with you. It’s just a crying shame that you gave up on me. You doubted my abilities and you were ashamed. Yet, I never once said I was ashamed of you and all your flaws.
I learned to love my solitude, and I learned to love every single part of me. I enjoy not being a perfect specimen of a human being. I embody true beauty. I may be an emotionally f*cked up individual, but damn, am I strong. Anyone who has had to endure three years of your bullsh*t deserves an award.
So thank you, thanks for helping me realize just how badass I am. I’m living a fabulous life.
By the way, I heard you got married, cheers to that! I wish you nothing but happiness. I can genuinely say that because when you really love someone or in my case (loved) someone, regardless of what they’ve done to you, you do want the best for him.
My heart doesn’t have room for hate, it’s too full of love for the ones who care about me.
Sincerely,
Little Kid
let me be the one (jimmy bondoc)
Somebody told me you were leavin’
I didn’t know
Somebody told me you’re unhappy
But it doesn’t show
Somebody told me that you don’t want me no more
So you’re walkin’ out the door
Nobody told me you’ve been cryin’
Every night
Nobody told me you’d been dyin’
But didn’t want to fight
Nobody told me that you fell out of love from me
So I’m settin’ you free
[Ref:]
Let me be the one to break it up
So you won’t have to make excuses
We don’t need to find a set up where
Someone wins and someone loses
We just have to say our love was true
But has now become a lie
So I’m tellin’ you I love you one last time
And goodbye
Somebody told me you still loved me
Don’t know why
Nobody told me that you only
Needed time to fly
Somebody told me that you want to come back when
Our love is real again
[ref then bridge]
[Bridge:]
Just turn around and walk away
You don’t have to live like this
But if you love me still then stay
Don’t keep me waiting for that final kiss
We can work together through this test
Or we can work through it apart
I just need to get this off my chest
That you will always have my heart
let me be the one..
[ref]
Living with Your Ex (an excerpt)
When I moved to San Francisco in 2007, I knew it wouldn’t be cheap. Ever since I’ve been conscious of phrases like “cost of living” and “quality of life,” I’ve understood that this is an expensive city. But I had been living in Los Angeles and was coming up here for research on a novel that I was writing, and I fell head over heels in love with the city. There was no going back. So I found a job, packed up, and took some crappy apartment in the Lower Haight that pushed the boundary of my nonprofit salary. The place was beyond gross. There was cat food stuck in the old, dingy carpets. Human feces often greeted me at the front gate when I left for work in the mornings. Instead of borrowing things like eggs and sugar, my drug addict neighbors borrowed strips of aluminum foil and small Band-Aids that could fit in between toes.
But I was glad to be here, and in 2010 things started to look up for my living situation when my boyfriend and I decided to move in together. He made a great salary, and combined with my paltry one we’d be able to build that San Francisco home I’d been looking for. We found a place just before this latest boom: a beautiful flat in an old Victorian with two bedrooms, pristine wood floors, a fireplace, and a kitchen bigger than my Lower Haight apartment. Once again, it pushed the limits of my budget, but it was time I had something nice. I was ready to sit squarely on the three-legged stool of life – with a job I liked, a partner I loved, and a house that could easily become a home.
And then, of course, life reminded me who was boss. Less than a year in, my boyfriend and I broke up – right around the start of this latest rental crisis. I was now a recently single nonprofit employee with no savings who had to think about competing with wealthy techies (including my ex) for apartments. The rent on that crack den apartment I rented in 2007 was already 50 percent higher. There was no way I could move, and our landlords made it clear they wanted a couple living in our current place. A one-legged stool is really scary to sit on.
This all sucked even harder because I had finally found a home. I was one of those kids who got passed around a lot. Though there were lots of different houses in the small Texas hick towns I grew up in, a steady, solid home was hard to come by. Fortunately, as I became an adult, I realized home is more about choice than circumstance, and how you make that choice depends on what is important to you.
Except for some occasional bickering, my boyfriend and I lived pretty well together. Our issue? The sex was as abysmal as that Lower Haight apartment. The love was there, the mutual respect was there, even the we’re-best-friends-as-well-as-lovers was there. The mad attraction to each other’s bodies was missing, though, even from the get-go.
I think we had both hoped that we’d figure it out over time, that unlike most relationships where the sex is great in the beginning and then wanes over time, we were the lucky ones who would grow in the opposite direction. With enough time, patience, and exploration, we thought we’d totally get “gettin’ down” down. But we didn’t. We even blew our savings on a romantic trip to the Greek islands where we slept chastely each night in full pajamas. It was time to call it quits, which was going to ruin everything.
So, like others having to deal with San Francisco’s rental crisis, I had to get creative. I wondered, did breaking up really have to mean living apart? We were fantastic roommates and looked out for each other; why did that have to end because we weren’t having sex? Then again, was I totally oversimplifying our situation in order to make things easier for me? Probably. But fortunately we had the foresight to get a two-bedroom place, so continuing to cohabitate was worth a shot. I convinced my ex to give living as roommates a try, and I moved into the guest room.
I’m not going to lie and say that moving down the hall was a party. No, it was awful and depressing as hell. That first night, I slept alone for the first time in ages and played through all my failed relationships, scared that I’d end up a spinster. But I could hear my ex snoring in the other room. The same snores that were totally annoying when I was next to him in bed became strangely comforting, reminding me that I wasn’t alone. The next day, we went and bought a grill together, a testament to our intention to make this living arrangement work – of course, as we were putting it together, one of us (I won’t say who) broke down in sobs.
People thought I was crazy. When you break up, you move out. That’s the tried and true formula for this situation; that’s how you move on. Other people thought that it must be some strange homosexual thing they just couldn’t possibly understand. Just gays being all gay again.
Over time, living together became less sad and sleeping apart became easier. Although we didn’t start out completely mature and positive about things, we were there for each other as we dealt with our breakup, and we struggled to find a way to redefine our relationship. There aren’t any manuals for rooming with your ex, so it took a lot of negotiation and a lot of hurt feelings, but we tackled each topic as it came up. We had to discuss stuff like, When are hugs OK? How does dinner work now that I’m not responsible for feeding you? And of course the big one – what happens when one of us wants to start dating again or brings other people home?
My ex and I are a year into this arrangement, and some of these questions we’ve successfully figured out. Others, especially that last one, we’re still working on. We’ve both had our one-night stands, but no significant relationships yet, so we’ll work on that part when we get there.
Early into this arrangement, we tried to have sex again, just to make sure we’d made the right decision about breaking up. Five minutes in, we both agreed that we’d definitely made the right decision, shook hands, and called it a day. But somehow, through all of this, we’ve moved into something even stronger than friendship. We’ve become family. When he gets stood up, I make him dinner. When I write articles about our breakup, he proofreads.
I’m well aware that this arrangement can’t last forever – one of us is going to want to move in with someone else at some point. And I still struggle with how to come out to potential dating prospects that I still live with my ex. But for now, I have that home I’ve been looking for, a place that offers warmth and comfort with rent I can afford in a city that I love. I also have a roommate who is a great friend, who has seen me at my worst and still has my back. I may not have the romantic partner, and that three-legged life stool might not be so sturdy, but two legs is a hell of a lot easier to balance than one.
I miss the times n I’ll text him during my breaks just to tell him how upset I was with the customer, coachings, calibs and other discussions in the office. Kahit hindi sya magreply, I’ll be looking forward to the time na susunduin nya ko kasi we’ll discuss it on our way home. Just like what my officemate told me yesterday “hindi ka na nagmamadali ngaun? Nag-OT kna? Dati kasi 1minute before end ng shift ready kna kahit 1hour kpa maghihintay sa baba”
Eversince he transferred accounts kasi hindi na ko maka-relate sa mga kinukwento nya. We were from the same function before he transferred companies. Now, he’s an online training manager. More of tech support for Barclays online. Pero agent level. Sometimes I’ll just say ‘yes’ whenever he asked me if naiintindihan ko yung kwento nya about what they do sa office, about issues ng clients nya.. Just like when he tried to teach me how to play magic cards. I really can’t follow his instructions. Maybe because I’m just not really into it.
When I went to their office last may 14, I remember people saying ‘ewan ko ba jan kay jolo.. wala naman promotion pero pabibo! Mas pagod pa nga sya kesa sa tl namin!’
I always tell him “yes, do what you think is right. Have the initiative. Pero don’t claim other tasks na hindi naman inassign sayo. Kung wala POC, go. Pero pag na-assign na sa iba.. wag mo na pakielaman. Kasi iisipin ng mga tao nagmamagaling ka. When they ask for your opinion or assistance, go. Ask them if they need help pero don’t make them feel na ikaw lang ang tama.” I don’t know if he followed my advise. I may not always be right. But I just want him to realize na hindi lahat ng alam ko or alam nya eh applicable sa lahat ng scenarios.. or hindi lahat ng alam namin is tama. Yun lang.
Nasaktan ako noon and nasasaktan pa rin ako ngayon everytime meron ako naririnig na nagcocomment ng negative about sa kanya. I shouldn’t care. Especially now, after all he did.
I just wish him well. Wish na no one would hurt him, kasi if malalaman ko yun.. mas masasaktan ako. Sabi nga ni momy, “siguro kaya gumawa na ng way si God na maghiwalay kayo kasi lahat kinalimutan mo para sa kanya.. lahat, kahit kami na pamilya mo, pati anak mo. Pati nga yata and Dyos kinalimutan mo na kasi ganun din sya..”
goodbye (miley cyrus)
I can honestly say
You’ve been on my mind
Since I woke up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don’t mind
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I’d forget
The memory I wanna forget
Is goodbye
I woke up this morning
And played our song
And through my tears I sang along
I picked up the phone and then
Put it down
’cause I know I’m wasting my time
And I don’t mind
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I’d forget
The memory I wanna forget
Suddenly my cell phone’s blowing up
With your ring tone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
And I’m surprised to hear you say
You remember when we kissed
You still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
You remember the simple things
We talk till we cry
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I’d forget
Is saying goodbye
Saying goodbye
Oh, Goodbye
051214 2.30p
“wg ka magmakaawa.. pra m-feel ko nman n pwede ka mwala sakin..”
is it better kung meron competition..?
hndi b ms ok kng alam mo n ikw lng ang gsto ko & hndi aq tumitingin s iba?!
is it the real reason y gnito tyo ngaun..?
kc ms gsto mo yung my kaagaw?!
akala ko ms mgiging msaya ka pg wala n s eksena yung mga umeeksena sakin.
kla q ms mgiging ok kng iisipin mo n ikaw lng yun mahal q & wla aq mamahalin p n iba..
hey there stranger
It’s been how many days.. which I’m sure you’re not aware of. I’d like to say that it was your decision alone to keep this distance, but I think we both know it was for the best. I’d like to say that I’m glad you are well, but as we both know I have absolutely no idea how you are. The one thing that can definitely be said is that when we cut ties, we leave no strand behind, but slice right through until we no longer remember how to find each other. It’s amazing to think that once we were inseparable, the best of friends.
You knew me inside and out, and I, you. Or have I? We were there for each other in the best of times and through the most difficult of times. We definitely managed to put each other through hell on occasion, but when support was needed the most, support was given. Until, of course, that final day. I sometimes find myself wondering why we couldn’t stay in touch. Would it be so bad if we got together for coffee from time to time? Or if we gave each other a ring to see how the other was doing?
Using the phone to make calls has become archaic, but surely we could send a text to wish each other well. I mean, we’ve been through so much. You are a part of my life and there is nothing I can do to ever change that.
You can’t be forgotten because forgetting you would be like forgetting myself — impossible. But then again, maybe you are right. Maybe we are better off as far apart as possible. We know we aren’t right for each other. We know it would never work, and we know the friendship we have — we had — created a bond that would make slipping back into romance too easy. It would make repeating the same mistakes too likely, repeating the same heartbreak certain. That’s what it really comes down to: It’s not my heart that I’m worried about, but yours. Breaking my own heart would be my responsibility to bear, but I can’t be responsible for breaking yours.
So all that I can do is wish you the best. Wish you a great, bright, loving future. Wish you to find the lover of your dreams and to create a lifetime of your fantasies. I wish for you to find a friend as great as me, but a much better partner. One who won’t drag you through the mud. One who you won’t feel the need to bury with guilt. I wish you all the best and although you will never read this, although we will never speak to each other again, and although you are out of my life forever, I wish you nothing short of happiness.
so what have i learned?
I need room to grow.
In that relationship, I didn’t have space and freedom to explore myself—my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs—and it was stifling. When I had a new idea, I usually received harsh criticism and derision.
Understanding ourselves, and what we stand for, is vitally important to our happiness, and we need room to figure those things out.
Relationships need to be elastic. When we stretch past the boundaries of what we know in the relationship, those boundaries either expand to hold the new ideas or they crack and fall apart.
I was stretching, and the relationship was trying to restrict me. Eventually it couldn’t take the strain.
I had to let go.
Letting go of that relationship meant letting go of people’s expectations about what my life should be (including my own). It was so hard, and it felt like everything I knew was falling apart—like the world was crumbling around me.
But there is so much possibility without those expectations. Starting over gave me an opportunity to craft a new life for myself in ways I had never imagined.
Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was scary. I hope I never have to start from scratch again, but now I know that I have a choice.
We all have choices. We can choose our direction, every single day.
Letting go sometimes means letting it all go.
We talked about remaining friends (and I know some of my friends have made that work), but honestly, we couldn’t remain friends and still move on. I left it all behind and started fresh.
When you rebuild a house that has been damaged by a fire or other disaster, you don’t just start building on top of what is there. If you do, it will quickly fall apart again. First, you have to remove the debris and get back down to the most solid foundation.
The solid foundation in my life is me. Always. I had to let go so that I could find myself.
These lessons are relevant for any relationship.
Whether it’s a romance, a friendship, or even family relationship, sometimes you have to take a hard look and make a hard choice. Even if the choice is to stick it out and not let go.
When you take the time to really know yourself—know your values, know your beliefs, know what is important to you—you can make the right choice, even when it’s hard.
don’t say goodbye, say goodnight..
This is the last time.
I just wanted to tell you I’m saying goodbye. To you and the friends we share.
For the past few days, I’ve actually been doing fine without you. I didn’t think about you AT ALL. I forgot about you. I don’t even cry now. Probably just once or twice, and it was just a single tear. Our break up fucked me up, worse than when Manny and I broke up. Hell, I saw my best friend for the first time in how many years, and the first thing she told me was, “What the hell happened to you? He messed you up. I’ve never seen you like this before. You used to be so sweet and believed in love like a hopeless romantic. Now… there’s no other way to describe it.”
I think it’s because you gave me hope. You made me hope. After Manny, I didn’t think I could find another love because I thought he was “the one.” With you? I didn’t know if you were the one. But you made me feel safe. Unlike him, I wasn’t stupid with my emotions. I was careful with you, I did everything right, I made sure my feelings were real. And most of all, I trusted you. That’s why you leaving me was so hard – it was different. It was a hopeful love, an innocent love, a secure and safe love. Not the crazy, passionate, impulsive, risky love with him.
You told me to be apathetic, to date other guys. I did just that.
I didn’t fuck. I drowned myself in parties, in alcohol/beer, in so many SUPER WASTED nights (you know I don’t drink) – that in the end I realized I DIDN’T KNOW MYSELF ANYMORE. Everything was a blur. It just felt good to enjoy and get lost in the moments, even though it always ended as soon as the parties stopped. Then i realized, I’m done breaking myself. I’m done trying to move on from you.
I met a guy. He made me laugh. I didn’t fall in love with him, of course, and we’re not in a relationship – but he made me laugh. It felt good to know that even though my heart was almost as cold as ice like yours is, it was still possible for someone to make me laugh. I kind of felt hopeless after being with so many people and not feeling anything – but he made me laugh. And that’s enough.
I thought about you again for the first time in a long time. But I wasn’t sad. I remembered the happy memories – the way you’d smile at me when you’d hold my face, the way you tease me about the mole in my toe, or when you stopped in the middle of sex just to look me in the eye and softly say, “Hey. I love you.”
Most of all that… look. That smile. You always had this expression on your face when you’d look at me without saying anything. Even when we were just talking on line or wechat, it was there. Silent and smiling, you’d look at me with such gentle love and affection in your eyes. I was never afraid of anything, of being vulnerable, when you give me that look. Safe. You made me feel safe.
But a few days after that it changed. I remembered how you looked on our last day together. Before you left when you said ‘bye’ for the first time since I met you.. You looked at me and there was this expression on your face – like you wanted to say something, say goodbye, say you love me one last time. But you didn’t. It was the saddest look you’ve ever given me, and I think that’s the memory of you that I will never ever forget.
I cooked for you, I washed your underwear (a few times, especially when you forgot all about it when you went to australia), i’ve created scrapbooks, I’ve written you letters.. things i’ve never done to any of my ex boyfriends, not even Gabu’s father.. I think when I remembered that, that’s when the pang hit my chest. I felt hurt again.
You were supposed to be in love with me. You said you LOVED me. And you left me because you couldn’t come back, yet you found someone new.. and worse.. you found her months before you broke up with me.. you told me you love me more than her.. but you chose to be with her.. I deserved better than that.
I still write about you. I’ve been writing about you this entire time, even until today my posts are usually about you. But I don’t need you to read my blog anymore. Now, I write because I write. I don’t write because I want you to hear me. I no longer need you to listen.
I am being honest and telling you all this because it’s who I am. But do not mistake this letter as a sign of weakness. This is not for your benefit. This time, I’m writing for me.
I don’t even know if you read all of this. I don’t expect anything from you. I know you. Your heart is empty, and cold, and apathetic. And you probably never felt a thing those months before we broke up, and I think you don’t even give a shit right now. Emotionless and indifferent, as usual. Unfeeling.
It hurts to see you happy without me. You treated me as if I were dead. As if I were a stranger. My best friends say that you’re an asshole. I told them you were a good person with a kind heart. They still said you were an asshole for the way you handled our break-up, and that I should stop making excuses for you.
I know, it’s selfish of me doing this. But I can’t. You were always SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME in killing your emotions, so that’s why I have to do this. Because I’m not as strong as you. Because I found out I still love you. And now I know that you didn’t love me. That it wasn’t real. It hurts, there’s a tiny prick in my chest when I’m reminded of you happy without me in your life at all. And I don’t want to wait until that tiny pain I feel grows bigger.
And I’m okay. I’m not depressed anymore. I’m not drowning myself in parties to forget you. I’m sad, it kind of hurts, and it’s a little lonely sometimes when I remember you – but I’m okay. I’m finding my way back to myself, and I know just a little bit more time I’ll be 100% fine again. I’m happy, I’m GREAT actually, and I’m okay.
I’m sorry for any mistakes I’ve done, as well. I’m not angry at you anymore. I’m not confused anymore, I’m not bitter about our break up anymore, and I’m not desperate to get you back anymore. I forgive you. And I understand you. And I accept it.
I’m not going to contact or message you. I’m going to start forgetting you the same way you forgot me.
And the world is SO BIG with SO MANY MANY MANY PEOPLE in it, that we might never see each other again. Not unless we move to different countries.
So this isn’t my goodbye yet, Jolo. We’ll see each other again. We’ll talk to each other again after tonight. I may be out of your life. (And maybe you don’t care anymore, but I need to do this for myself)
People say I should act indifferent with you, because letting you know my thoughts and feelings would make me a “loser” to the break up and make me look pathetic. They say I should be brave and show you no emotion whatsoever and just block you right away.
But you know I hate regrets, and I don’t want to regret not saying everything I want to say.
And besides, you were so wonderful to me. You were so so so wonderful to me. And I need to let this all out, one last time, before I go.
Thank you so much for being kind to me when we were together.
Thank you for all the happy and good memories.
I’m glad I can look back at them now and also smile, instead of just being hurt.
Hey? When you find that girl, that girl you’ll fall in love with FOR REAL, tell her for me that she’s the luckiest girl in the world. Please take care of her better than you did for me.
I wish you all the best.
You’ll be in my heart.
always.
Kristine Angeles 
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