Jose Micard Teixeira’s (not meryll streep’s)

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.

september 26, 2014

it should’ve been our 5th ‘ official’ anniversary.
remember? ondoy?
nun ako pinuntahan mo instead of sa kanya? (sabi mo)
i’ve waited for you from 10am until 6pm.
i was so worried kasi based from the news super baha na, lubog na yung edsa.. hanggang bintana na ng mga sasakyan yung baha.
then i went to Jollibee-Mindanao Ave., and waited for you for another hour.
we met at 7pm. nilakad mo from that place near trinoma, to st.james-mindano ave.
then we went to the office. pagdating natin wala pala rest day OT and boss rico just said “we have free meals in the pantry’ which is free naman talaga everyday.
then you’ve decided to ask me and augie to go to your house in sct ojeda.
that was my first time to see your house.
we bought san mig light.
when we arrived at your house, your mom doesnt want to go down because she doesnt know us. sabi mo ayaw kasi nya makita sya ng ibang tao without her make-up on.
then at around 5am she’s asking you na ihatid na kami sa labas, but you refused.
after an hour, augie went home. and after a few more minutes, hinatid mo ko in JAM bus terminal, near GMA7.
i was so thankful THEN that you came to my rescue.
now.. i don’t know. tears has gone dry.
i’m hurting, yes.
i dont know what she has or what she does for you to throw everything away.
i thought i am your bestfriend. kasi ako lang nakakaalam ng lahat ng secrets mo.. ng lahat ng problema mo.. na kahit pamilya mo, kahit mama mo hindi nila alam.
siguro nga oo.. i WAS your bestfriend. before you met her.
but thank you.
thank you for everything.
thank you for saving me from my then-boyfriend.
thank you for being there nun ondoy.
i’ve learned so much from you, good and bad.
i dont know why, but i still love you.
and it fucking hurts.

092414

Man's Hand Resting On Headstone
how do you comfort someone who lost his partner if you yourself haven’t experienced such loss? it’s not that i want to experience it first-hand. who would want that. but it’s so awkward when everyone else said their sympathies and you’ll be left with just holding their hand for strength.. hope that helps at least. i just can’t find the right words to say. sorry.. but i feel you. i understand. and i really am sorry for your loss